Pennsylvanians - by Jeff Foxworthy

Hold on folks... two days, two posts...

Forget Rednecks - here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Pennsylvanians:

• If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Philadelphia for the weekend, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Pennsylvania .
• If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Pennsylvania
• If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Pennsylvania friends & others, you definitely live in Pennsylvania .

I don't know if Jeff Foxworthy really said all this or not, but to this Pennsylvanian it was all hilarious!!!

Seven Days, Three Concerts, One Roller Derby, Oh My!

Dear God, I need time off from my time off. Friday, live, in concert at Hershey Stadium, The Police. It should go without saying that this was a near religious experience. Sting and the boys were AWESOME!!! Saturday was the roller derby. My sister is a genuine roller derby queen, Mimosa Mama, with the Dutchland Rollers, the rockinest bunch of ladies to ever grace (or is it disgrace) a roller rink. Sunday was mostly a day of rest, but in the evening it was time to go see my brother in law's band, The Butchers. They describe themselves as "No-Fi 60's Garage Rock at its Finest". I have no need to disagree. They rock! I highly recommend catching their show if you can. Last night, Pete Yorn at the Chameleon in Lancaster. I wasn't 100% sure about this show, but came away quite impressed. Someday I may finally grow up, but probably not.

Hey Mr. D.J.

This past weekend was my reserve duty weekend. Saturday was our Battalion change of command. For the uninitiated, an Army change of command ceremony work like this: the troops spend most of the morning "practicing' in formation. The problem here is that the troops are only taking the commands from the leaders, who are the ones really practicing. I've always thought maybe they should practice without the troops and we could show up for the actual ceremony. If the commanders are of high enough rank, they may be fortunate to get an actual band to play at the ceremony. A LTC is not quite high enough to get a real band. That's where the Mr. D.J. comes in. At one point during the "festivities" I was asked if I had a job for the ceremony, I replied other than standing in the sun with everyone else, no. I was then given the option of running the sound equipment, which I of course was all over. Over the past 18 years I have been in more change of command formations than I care to count. My job was to follow the change of command script and at the appropriate places, play music. The selections were: Ruffles and Flourishes, The Star Spangled Banner and The Army Song. Grammy nomination anyone?